Every Artist Is A Cannibal, Every Poet Is A Thief

Anita

2007-09-12T12:00:00.000-07:00

Anita Roddick, founder of Body Shop died on Monday after suffering a major brain haemorrhage.

Anita was lauded as the "Queen of Green" for trailblazing business practices that sought to be environmentally friendly and won her renown in England and around the world. She was also known for her campaigning work on environmental issues and was a member of the Demos think tank's advisory council.

Trustee/Board Member

1984 - 2007 - The Body Shop International Plc
1989 - 2007 - The Body Shop Foundation
1994 - 2001 - Mother Jones Magazine - Foundation for National Progress, USA
1996 - 1997 - Human Rights Watch, USA
1999 - 2007 - The Ruckus Society, USA
2003 - 2007 - Nuclear Age Peace Foundation, USA

Patron
1991 - 2007 - Schumacher College for Human Scale Education
1994 - 2007 - Association for Creation Spirituality
1996 - 2007 - Body and Soul (women & families with HIV and AIDS)
1998 - 2007 - EMMA (Ethnic Minority Media Awards)
2002 - 2007 - Findhorn Foundation College
2002 - 2007 - My Acre Of Africa, South Africa

Campaigns involved in with The Body Shop and personally

1985 - Stop the dumping of toxic waste in North Sea, Greenpeace
1986 - Campaign against whaling of sperm whales, Greenpeace
1987 - Acid Rain pollution, Friends of the Earth
1987 - Published first 'Green' Diary, Friends of the Earth
1980s - Against Animal Testing for cosmetics, collected 4 million signatures through shops
1990 - The Body Shop Foundation set-up. Over first 6 years of operation donated more than 3.5 million pounds to 180 charitable groups
1990 - Set-up project to refurbish 3 Romanian orphanages. Work extended into Albania and Bosnia
1991 - Funded Unrepresented Nations and Peoples organization
1993-98 - Ogoni Campaign against Shell and Nigeria
1994 - Marked 50th anniversary of UN Declaration of Human Rights, launched 'Make Your Mark' campaign with Dalai Lama, in partnership with Amnesty International. 3 million thumbprints collected in 34 countries. 17 prisoners of conscience released
1997 - Self-Esteem Campaign with its controversial mascot, Ruby, exposes myth of the perfect body
2000 - The Body Shop Human Rights Award launched, biennial award of $300,000 to selected grassroots groups fighting for human rights globally
2001 - 2007 - Challenging Exxon-Mobil, World's No 1 Global Warming Villain and campaigning for renewable energy for world's 2 billion poorest people, Greenpeace
2001 - 2007 - Challenging Globalization/Free Trade agenda of WTO, Trade Justice Coalition
2001 - 2007 - Sweatshop Labor and workers' rights in Free Trade Zones, National Labour Committee
2001 - 2007 - Free the Angola Three
2001 - 2002 - Positive Energy Campaign with Greenpeace
2002 - The Body Shop Human Rights Award. This second award was on the issue of the right to housing.
2003- 2007 - Help Stop Violence in the Home – Domestic Violence Campaign with Refuge (the UK’s largest single provider of accommodation and support to women and children experiencing domestic violence)

Campaign groups personally supported

Mother Jones
University of Creation Spirituality
World Development Movement
People & Planet
Trade Justice Coalition
National Labor Committee
Body & Soul (HIV/AIDS)
Federation of Southern Co-Operatives (Poor Black Farmers support group)
Free the Angola Three
Greenpeace, Challenging Exxon-Mobil, World's No 1 Global Warming Villain and campaigning for renewable energy for world's 2 billion poorest people, Greenpeace
Trade Justice Coalition, Challenging Globalisation/Free Trade agenda of WTO
Amnesty International UK
Reprieve UK

I met her once when she gave a talk at Borders. She was one of the most captivating speakers I have ever heard. One could tell that her enthusiasm and passion were genuine.

The world is a darker place today.

Fuckwitted Appeal

2007-09-06T10:33:00.000-07:00

I saw on a Facebook group that some fuckwits are starting a "movement" to bring Krispy Kreme donuts to Singapore... I love Krispy Kremes, so why do I say fuckwits?

Because the creator of the group claims that it takes $30 million to bring the brand to Singapore. Like, riiiiight! It's funny how one can make such a passionate appeal, but neglect to do their homework first.

Seriously, $30 million? I'd buy myself a private island first!

Doh! Nuts?

2007-08-29T09:32:00.000-07:00

I finally got to try the donuts from the Donut Factory yesterday... After all the hype about it, the donuts were disappointing. I was expecting something more, after all, some people have even commented that these donuts taste better than Krispy Kremes.

Ok, so maybe the Donut Factory donuts aren't all that bad. In fact, they are pretty decent, but no comparison to KKs, and really not worth all that publicity. All I have to say is that I'm glad I only waited about five minutes for them!

Gwen Stefani is awesome!

2007-06-19T14:53:00.000-07:00

I got Nana tickets to watch the Gwen Stefani concert for her birthday. We went to the one at the Sleep Train Amphitheater in Marysville. I could only get the second most expensive tickets, as the front ones were sold out! Damn!

The best part about American concerts? You can drink during the show! See the pink band Nana has on? You show your ID and if you are above 21 (legal age to drink in US), they give you the band. Only then can you buy alcohol! Well, you can't smoke but everyone else around us was smoking, cigarettes or otherwise! We got us a couple of tour tees too!

Lady Sovereign and Akon opened. But the best part of it was, halfway through the show, Gwen came to sing at our section. She was like just ten meters away! How awesome is that?

The downside of it was, (and I know some of you were thinking this too!), "Where the fuck is Marysville?" It took us about two hours to get there, and we had to stay at Denny's after the concert to wait for a bus / train combo back to Davis the next morning. The journey actually cost quite a bit!

But whatever, it sure as hell was worth it! If you wanna see more photos, there is an album on my Facebook.

Harry Potter

2007-05-05T02:29:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I'm finally doing something that I thought I wouldn't do...
I'm reading the Harry Potter books. It's funny how I got started.
I never realised that I missed watching "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire",
I don't even remember it showing! So anyway, we rented the DVD and since the fifth movie only opens in July, I thought I'd catch up on all the little details I've missed! (Actually Nana was just going on about how shallow the movies were compared to the books!)

So here I am starting on Book Four. Shields Library is awesome, you can borrow up to 3000 books at any time, but strangely, enough, there is only one copy of each HP book! I finished the first three in two days last week, and the fourth was only just returned.

Unfortunately I can only read up to the fifth book as someone has the sixth until the end of June. Oh well, I hope I can catch up before July 21!

Saturn

2007-04-13T01:48:00.000-07:00

I saw Saturn in astronomy class last night! Ok, given that it was only 2mm in diameter through the telescope but it was amazing! I could actually see the rings around the planet! If I only took one thing back with me from three months here, it would have to be that sight!

Quiet Morning In Davis

2007-04-10T10:40:00.000-07:00

I've been here for exactly a week now, and finally I have internet access! Had a little technical problems at home, so now I'm at the CoHo (COffee HOuse) waiting for Nana to finish her Ecology class. So far I've sat in (unofficially) for three classes, Astronony, Evolution and American Literature. It was interesting, but I think I spent most of Literature praying that the lecturer wouldn't ask me a question.

Apart from classes, Davis has been interesting. Nana thinks it's quaint, I don't agree. It is cool, maybe not in a Manhattan-style way, but it's different. No surprise that there're lots of college kids around, because it is a college town to begin with. I can't wait for this Saturday, it's the most awaited event on the Davis calendar - Picnic Day. One of the pre-events is a cow-milking contest tomorrow.

We took an intercity trip yesterday to Fairfield. Now most people have never heard of Fairfield, because there is absolutely nothing to see or do there, except for the Jelly Belly factory! And the best part about it? You get free jelly beans at the end if the tour.

I'm not posting a lot of photos here on my blog, most of them should be up on SmugMug, well, at least when I have a chance to post them. Check them out, leave me comments, drop me emails... just don't stop keeping me updated!

Goodbye For Now

2007-04-02T05:20:00.000-07:00

This will be my last post before I shut down the 'book. The next time I post, I will be in Davis, California.

Am I excited? Hell, yeah! But also a little panicky... I know I'm neurotic, I just never realised I could be this neurotic... I feel like I am forgetting this, that or the other. I hate packing. Well, maybe if I had gotten around to packing earlier, I wouldn't be in such a state of panic right now. But as any IJ girl out there can attest, we work best under pressure.

My flight is in about nine hours. Now I have to kill time before heading off to the airport because I don't fancy the idea of hanging out there with nothing to do. Nobody seems to be home now, 95% of my MSN list is offline, only Ophee. Sorry about the complaining, Ophee, just your luck that the whole world seems to be out now! Haha!

In the next three months, if you're bored, and you have nothing to do... come to my blog, look to the right. Click on the button that says "Email" and drop me a note! =)

If I saw you before I left, cool! If I didn't, I could mail you a photo!

Take care, be safe, and have fun!

Harris

2007-03-31T05:01:00.000-07:00

I am a little sadder to leave this place than I thought I would be...

Congrats, Mia!

2007-03-10T07:17:00.000-08:00

I went to Mia's engagement party earlier this evening! Here's a photo of her looking like she's in dire need of a cigarette! Smile, Mia!

Mia is one of the few friends I have taken with me from Starbucks. I guess it does make sense for us to be friends, because relationship-wise, we seem to have had very similar experiences.

Hey Mia, just wanted to congratulate you once again. I'm really happy for you that you found someone who loves you as much as you love him. You've come a long way since I first met you, and the Mia I saw today is a happy girl who is no longer confused or searching. See, didn't I tell you that sometimes risks are worth taking? I love being right!

Don't forget to invite Selina and I to your wedding ok? I'll see you around... probably on MSN as usual! Hah!

Blog - Fact Or Fiction?

2007-03-09T12:58:00.000-08:00

I've just finished reading "Anonymous Lawyer" by Jeremy Blachman, and it's so damn funny. Done in the form of a blog, it makes you wonder how much of it is real and how much is make-believe. After all, some people do tend to embellish facts on their blogs... and the blog on which this book is based is a three-year one...

Just to whet your appetite, check out the actual blog here.

Full Moon Tonight

2007-03-04T10:12:00.000-08:00

Taken with the new camera... Nana thinks it looks like yummy cheese! (I can't get her to agree that it looks like a giant cheese ball!)

Does it?

My new toy

2007-03-03T12:22:00.000-08:00

I just got a Canon Powershot S3 IS today. It's a cross between a regular digicam, and a digital SLR. Haven't had the opportunity to play with it yet, as it was raining when I got home, and no way was I gonna take it out in the rain.

So expect more photos posted in the next three months, or go check out my site at SmugMug.

Palm Trees And Sunny Skies

2007-02-28T06:52:00.000-08:00

Guess what?! I tendered my resignation yesterday. Not that I hate my job or anything like that. No... ok, at times it can get quite boring... most of the time actually, but all in all, it's bearable.

I needed to resign because I am going to California to be with Nana. I know some of you might wonder at the wisdom of that decision, but I've thought it through, and it's something that I have to do. I miss her, and she misses me. This being so far apart is killing the both of us.

Rather than go through another four more months of misery, I just have to serve this one month notice. Then it's off to Davis for the next three months. And the best part of it? (Apart from being with Nana of course) I get to attend classes. (Closet geek!) I have no idea what classes, but it doesn't really matter! I can say I went to UC Davis! How cool is that?

I'm so damn excited! I can hardly wait!

Walls

2007-02-26T06:37:00.000-08:00

Ever think about how easy it is to build a wall? A layer of cement, followed by a layer of bricks, and repeat the process again until you've built your wall to a desired height. Ok, maybe a little simplified, but that would be the gist of it. You can try it anytime anywhere with just cement and bricks.

Now here comes the tricky part...

Ever think about how hard it is to break down a wall? Even with the proper tools, it would take you a long time to bring it all down.

Life is funny like that, isn't it?

The Man And The Butterfly

2007-02-18T15:08:00.000-08:00

A man once found a butterfly cocoon. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole.

Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther. The man decided to help the butterfly so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bits of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily.

But it had a swollen body and small shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that at any moment the wings would enlarge and expand enough to be able to support the body which would contract in time.

Neither happened!

In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings.

It never was able to fly.

Never Thought

2007-02-18T10:38:00.000-08:00

Can I touch you?
I can't believe that you are real
How did I ever find you?
You are the dream that saved my life
You are the reason I survived
Baby...

I never thought that I could love
Someone as much as I love you
I know it's crazy but it's true
I never thought that I could need
Someone as much as I need you
I love you...

Can I hold you?
Girl your smile lights up the sky
You are too beautiful for the human eye
You are the dream that never dies
You are the fire that burns inside
Baby...

I never thought that I could love
Someone as much as I love you
I know it's crazy but it's true
I never thought that I could need
Someone as much as I need you
I love you...

You are the sunshine in the sky
You are the sparkle in my eyes

I never thought that I could love
Someone as much as I need you
I know it's crazy but it's true
I never thought that I could need
Someone as much as I need you
I love you

Tribute To President Bush

2007-02-17T09:44:00.000-08:00

I'm with my girl on this one... If you haven't already watched the video Selina posted on Stephen Colbert's "tribute" to Bush at the White House Correspondents' Dinner, here are some sound bites. I stongly suggest you watch it though. This guy is hilarious!

"... it is my privilege to celebrate this president, ‘cause we're not so different, he and I. We both get it. Guys like us, we're not some brainiacs on the nerd patrol. We're not members of the factinista. We go straight from the gut. Right, sir? That's where the truth lies, right down here in the gut. Do you know you have more nerve endings in your gut than you have in your head? You can look it up. Now, I know some of you are going to say, "I did look it up, and that's not true." That's 'cause you looked it up in a book. Next time, look it up in your gut. I did. My gut tells me that's how our nervous system works."

"I believe the government that governs best is the government that governs least. And by these standards, we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq."

"... there are some polls out there saying that this man has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in "reality." And reality has a well-known liberal bias. So, Mr. President, please, please, pay no attention to the people that say the glass is half full. 32% means the glass -- important to set up your jokes properly, sir. Sir, pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it's 2/3 empty. There's still some liquid in that glass is my point, but I wouldn't drink it. The last third is usually backwash."

"Look, folks, my point is that I don't believe this is a low point in this presidency. I believe it is just a lull before a comeback. I mean, it's like the movie Rocky. Alright? The President, in this case, is Rocky Balboa, and Apollo Creed is everything else in the world. It's the tenth round. He's bloodied. His corner man, Mick, who in this case, I guess, would be the Vice President, he's yelling, "Cut me, Dick, cut me!" And every time he falls, everyone says, "Stay down, Rocky! Stay down!" But does he stay down? No. Like Rocky, he gets back up, and in the end he -- actually loses in the first movie. Okay, doesn't matter. Doesn’t matter. The point is it is the heart-warming story of a man who was repeatedly punched in the face, so don't pay attention to the approval ratings that say that 68% of Americans disapprove of the job this man is doing. I ask you this, does that not also logically mean that 68% approve of the job he's not doing? Think about it. I haven't..."

"I stand by this man. I stand by this man, because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things, things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound with the most powerfully staged photo-ops in the world."

"The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He believes the same thing Wednesday that he believed on Monday, no matter what happened Tuesday. Events can change; this man's beliefs never will."

"So, the White House has personnel changes. And then you write, "Oh, they're just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic." First of all, that is a terrible metaphor. This administration is not sinking. This administration is soaring! If anything, they are rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg!"

Someone At UC Davis Loves Me

2007-02-16T23:08:00.000-08:00

On Valentine's Day

2007-02-13T23:14:00.000-08:00

To my dearest Nana,

"I love the way you look at me,
Your eyes so bright and true.
I love the way you kiss me,
Your lips so soft and smooth.

I love the way you make me so happy,
And the ways you show you care.
I love the way you say, "I Love You",
And the way you're always there.

I love the way you touch me,
Always sending tingles down my spine.
I love that you are with me,
And glad that you are mine."

Happy Valentine's Day, baby... I love you.

Without you, I can't be...
Jack

Nine Years, Squeezed Into Six Boxes And Two Packs

2007-02-12T10:58:00.000-08:00

After having broken up for about ten months, I finally got all my things back from Brigette yesterday... everything...

Looking at nine years worth of accumalated stuff, I can't help but feel a tinge of sadness. It wasn't nine bad years. Sure, we had bad times, but there were also good times. Contrary to what a certain someone might have portrayed her to be, Brigette is a great girl. She shared a major part of my life, after all, being 32, nine years is a good 1/3 of my existance. In the end, I guess we were both meant to be with somebody else. Regrets? No, yeah, one... Knowing it would have come to an end eventually, I wish I'd had the courage and strength to have let go earlier, instead of dragging it on for as long as I did. I wish I didn't hurt her that way, but I did. I'm glad, no, I hope we have gone past that and can stay friends. She's moved on, I've moved on, but I'm not willing to cut her out of my life completely. Having gone through so many years together, there aren't many things I can't ask of her, and vice versa, I'd do whatever favor anytime. I still call her for the most ridiculous things, as does she. I'd like to think that we are indeed better off as friends...

I feel a tinge of sadness knowing that is a major chapter of my life that is over now.

Belated Birthday

2007-02-06T06:25:00.000-08:00

I haven't had the chance to post this because I can't remember where I left my camera cable... So this is an extremely "belated" post!

Nana sent me a cake at the store on my birthday. Well, not by snail mail obviously, but by sis-mail! (Haha! Sorry, Val!) She got Val to surprise me with this... my ultimate favorite cake!!!

Thanks baby, I want this to be the only birthday I will spend apart from you...

Windows (Hasta La) Vista

2007-02-02T02:21:00.000-08:00

Wow! So the new Windows OS is out already? Andy asked me about the other day, and I decided to go have a laugh, I mean look, at it...

So Vista has all these cool new features. Let's look at them one at a time.

Sidebar and Gadgets

Hey, this looks a lot like a Mac Tiger dock, and widgets, doesn't it? I never use my Dashboard anyway, so this really doesn't impress me!

Instant Search

My bad! I assumed all operating systems came with a search engine, never realised it might be a "new" feature for some...

Photo Gallery

This reminds me of the time I was fooling around with Selina's laptop and I asked her where her photo viewer was. I'm glad that Microsoft has finally incorporated this into their OS. This, I like... although it could do with better aesthetically...

Tabbed Browsing in IE7

Again another "duh" for me. Safari had tabs all along. So show me something that my OS doesn't already have, will you?

I'm sure there are other great features, but I'm bored of looking at Windows already... All I have to say is that if you're thinking of upgrading your system, I think you'd be better off getting a Mac.

If Morality Represents How We'd Like The World To Work, Economics Represents How It Actually Does

2007-02-01T11:17:00.000-08:00

Even after more than six years in the book trade, I don't like reading books that are on bestseller lists, or even prize winning titles. On the rare occasion that I do pick up such a title, it's because the contents interest me. I'm not particularly interested in reading just to see why it won an award, or something. I feel that too many people read certain titles just because. Because if so many other people have bought it, it must be good. Because if it won a literary award, it must be good. Because I will seem like an avid reader if I mentioned that I've read this, it must be good. While I'm not dissing the first two reasons, I think that one should also pick up a book based on the content, if the subject interests you. Would you really read a book on the mating rituals of the Rocky Mountain Elk even if it was #1 on the NYT list, and won more than a handful of literary awards? Honestly?

Having said all that, I surprised myself by picking up a copy of Freakonomics. And I really enjoyed it. The book explores all sorts of modern real-world issues, and asks, then analyses out-of-the-box questions like "What Do Schoolteachers And Sumo Wrestlers Have In Common?" or "Why Do Drug Dealers Still Live With Their Moms?" It was funny and thought-provoking at the same time. Read more on the Freakonomics blog.

So if you only intend to read one book this year, read this!

Excuse Me, I Missed Your Definition Of Free

2007-02-01T11:01:00.000-08:00

"From January 2007, public areas in Singapore will offer wireless connectivity, and for starters, there will be two years of free surfing at speeds of up to 512 Kbps."

Yeah, right! While the wifi access is free, IDA forgot to mention that these hotspots are situated in cafes and the like. How can it possibly be "free" access if I have to buy at least a drink or something? Oh, I'm sorry, I must've misread the fineprint hidden amongst the big hoohah about there being free (there's that word again) wifi for all. I assumed that I would able to just sit at a bus-stop, flip open the 'book and get connectivity there. I didn't realise there were hidden costs involved.

Now buying a drink from Burger King or even Starbucks isn't all that costly, but to mislead people into thinking that they wouldn't have to pay a single cent to access the web? We could definitely use more transparency here...

My Past Three Weeks

2007-02-01T10:47:00.000-08:00

Wow! It's been ~~two~~ three (my girlfriend counts better than me!) weeks since my last entry! And I still haven't posted photos up... I think the fact that I can't find my cable might have a little to do with that!

Been a little busy the time I've been away, started work on a side blog with Selina, a little conservation project. As I write, I only have three posts up, but hey, research takes time ok? Anyway, please visit us at Going, Going, Gone. (Was a bad link, been fixed already! Thanks, Mia!)

I've also started on a few books, but only finished one. Found a cooler alternative to Friendster as well, Facebook. And the best thing so far is that I got the new M1 modem which lets me get connected from virtually anywhere (the last ads I saw, M1 claimed a 99.99% coverage, but since I'm too lazy to check now, I'll take their word it maintained!). That's why I haven't been hanging out at LT anymore, I don't have to. I'll still see you guys around though!

Great Partners

2007-01-12T08:34:00.000-08:00

Thank you for the cake, Daryl and Donovan... I really, really appreciate it...

Happy Birthday To Me

2007-01-12T08:12:00.000-08:00

It's my birthday today! Wow, another year just flying by! So fast... sigh!

I am in what has ironically become my regular hangout, LT. A boring way to celebrate a birthday, some might say, but hey, I've had my share of glitz and glamor. I am online with my precious girlfriend... I have a steaming hot mug of cocoa (courtesy of the awesome partners at LT, probably shouldn't name names here!)... I have internet connection and access to a power point... What more do I need? I don't need to go drinking and getting dead drunk to celebrate the passing of another year, do I?

I was just thinking yesterday, I don't need intensity and passion in my life, not that I don't have either... What I need, and have, is something deeper than that. I have stability and commitment, and at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter what anyone else might think. Say I lead a boring life, I don't care. Glitz and glamor doesn't last forever. I've found something more lasting than that...

Oh well!

Happy Birthday to me!

One Week Into 2007

2007-01-06T20:00:00.000-08:00

Sneaking an entry in at work... I love Sundays!

Haven't really been online much in the past few weeks, this free wifi thingie is bad! The connection really sucks. Ok, given that it's free, but still?

Work is boring. I wish people would start buying books on a regular basis, rather than just as gifts at Christmas or something. There are so many books out there that I want to read, but I haven't found the time to start. I think I'm reading three now concurrently. Anyway, I decided to start a list of all the books I've read this year...

Apart from work, I haven't been going out much... by choice. I need money for a ticket to Davis in June. And while I'm there, I'd like to be able to do stuff as well, which means I should cut down on spending now. Been bringing lunch to work. The plus point of cooking for yourself is that anything goes, so I've been having really weird combinations of food! Oh well, I'm not trying to impress anyone with my culinary skills, so like, whatever! Coffee is still an addiction though, so anyone kind enough to drop off an endless supply...

A Prayer For Peace

2006-12-31T08:33:00.000-08:00

Let us pray for the victims of war:

For the wounded and the dead.
For those who mourn and are afflicted.
For the earth and its innocent creatures -
Now mutilated and in disarray.
For the aggrieved and suffering souls -
Now bombed into submission and tormented silence.
For the scales of justice -
Now locked in false balance.
For the dove -
Now mocked by the metal wings of cruelty and greed.
For the yearnings and labors of peacemakers, healers and teachers -
Now degraded by the cunning and cowardice of warlike minds.
For the needy whose precious resources are now wasted and spent.
For the beautiful treasures, icons and holy places -
Now defiled by a crass science, now smashed by vulgar and heartless economies.
For those who seek to know what has befallen their world -
Now deceived and bewildered by the dictatorships of information.
We lament this poisoned and sorrowful state,
We resist this brutal invasion of the common soul.

We pray for peace.

In The Last Minutes Of 2006...

2006-12-31T07:54:00.000-08:00

... and I am sitting at Mac's talking to my precious girlfriend. Not much of a countdown, I suppose... but I'm not in the mood for New Year celebrations.

Taking a look back at 2006, all that I can say is that it's been a rollercoaster year for me. This has really been a year of changes, lots of them. I changed jobs, and I suppose my whole lifestyle changed along with that. I quit the gym and started smoking again (after a year and nine months)...

And the most significant change in my insignificant life will surely have to be relationship-wise. I've gone through elation and heartbreak alike this year... and as 2006 draws to a close, I realise something. I'm happy now. Truly happy. I don't need to be at some wild NYE bash counting down. I'm doing just as well marking the turn of the year on the phone with Selina. At the end of the day, it's little things like these that really matter, isn't it?

Happy 2007, everyone!

Goodbye E309

2006-12-28T05:31:00.000-08:00

Tonight is going to be the last night I'll be staying in hall, I'm feeling a little sad. Although I technically don't live here, this little room has been my home for some time now.

Initially I had a bit of reservations moving in with Selina. How will her hall mates react to me living here illegally? What? Shared bathrooms? And my all-time favorite - NUS is a smoke-free campus!But I've grown so used to the culture here. It never really is silent, well, except maybe on lazy Sunday afternoons, and Christmas Eve was too. But apart from that, there is always sound, someone is always doing something at any given time.

And the best part of living in Eusoff? We are just a five minute walk away from Fong Seng nasi lemak. 24-hour food within walking distance! What more could one ask for? All this, and an awesome chili for just $3.50.

I'll miss our little kitty too. She just waits right outside our door for food. The moment Selina or I open the door, she just struts right in and makes herself really comfortable. In this photo, she's actually sleeping on newspapers under the bed.

And last but not least, I'll miss Selina's funny friends, Su and Ro. I call them her funny friends because when they hang out together, these two always make me laugh! Not to mention the smoking / drinking sessions at the end of the corridor... You girls have been great!

E3 rocks! Good luck at the IHG!

My Friendster Testimonial For Selina

2006-12-28T00:19:00.000-08:00

If I can express in a thousand words what you mean to me, I would be as great a writer as there ever was.

No, what you have given me is beyond words, beyond imagination.

You have made me laugh, you have made me cry. You have seen deep within my soul, and touched my heart. For that, I love you.

You have brought me joy in an otherwise colorless world, and made me realize that this world isn't such a bad place to be in. For that, I love you.

You reminded me of the magic of Christmas. The same way your Christmas belongs to me, mine shall always be yours. For that, I love you.

You have given me so freely of yourself, without hesitation, without fear, without doubt. For that, I love you.

You have picked up my pieces and made me whole again. For that, I will always be yours.

I love you, Selina.

Christmas 2006

2006-12-26T17:55:00.000-08:00

Christmas this year was a very quiet affair, by choice. We had dinner in hall on Christmas Eve. Since Selina was leaving early on the 26th, I thought a quiet dinner with lots of quality time would be our best bet.

Ok, it looks a little pathetic here, but it got better...

... like here. Obviously this is Selina's plate, not mine. Check out the salad... But all in all, it was great sharing a simple meal together, far away from the crowds!

After days of waiting, Selina gets her Christmas present... well, the main one at least!

And finally, she gets it open...

I hope you liked your present. Merry Christmas, dear girl. Here's to many more Christmas-es together.

Sorrow Is Never Sweet

2006-12-26T07:31:00.000-08:00

Selina left me this morning. I went to the airport to send her off. She's doing a semester in UC Davis, in California. That is like halfway across the world.

I miss her so damn much, and she hasn't even reached Davis yet. I guess I am going to be quite a wreck for the next 188 days. Yes, I counted the days away from her. No, I don't know how many hours that will be.

Christmas came early for me this year. I got involved with a truly amazing girl. I guess to some of you, we might seem like an improbable combination, but truth be told, being with her has been one of the greatest joys of my life (and I seldom allow myself too much joy!)

And if ever she were to doubt what I feel for her, I will say it now... I am, without a doubt, hopelessly in love with her, and I am also without a doubt terribly lovesick!

Think I can get a six month mc for lovesickness?

High IQ, Low EQ?

2006-12-25T06:38:00.000-08:00

I've got a high IQ, and I'm not bragging here... I know that for a fact...

So why is it that my EQ is so low? Does a high IQ always have to equate a low EQ?

Nicholas Was...

2006-12-24T08:01:00.000-08:00

...
older
than sin,
and his beard
could grow no whiter.
He wanted to die.

The dwarfish natives of the
Arctic caverns did not speak his
language, but conversed in their own,
twittering tongue, conducted incomprehensible
rituals, when they were not actually working in the factories.

Once every year they forced him, sobbing and protesting, into Endless
Night. During the journey he would stand near every child in the world, leave one of the dwarves' invisible gifts by its bedside. The children
slept, frozen into time.

He envied Prometheus and Loki, Sisyphus and Judas. His punishment was harsher.

Ho.

Ho.

Ho.

Got Ink?

2006-12-16T07:22:00.000-08:00

Tattoo #4... the problem with tattoos is that they are so damn addictive, you never quite can stop at one! Here we go again...

This is my uber-cool ink-maestro, Yong. It's the second one he's doing for me, and I doubt it would be the last! Even as I was cursing at the pain, I was already planning where to place the next one.

Oh man! This dude makes it look so effortless... this one took me close to an hour. It's the biggest one I have so far. And the lines were so curvy! (For the uninitiated, curved lines have to be done in one stroke, no lifting of the needle! So no rest for the wicked!)

And finally, after long moments of intense pain, and questioning my sanity, it seemed almost too soon that it was over. This is Arabic for "carnal". Now can someone please teach me how to pronounce it?

Expectations

2006-12-14T07:57:00.000-08:00

Why is it in the human nature to always expect more and more, and should one's expectations not be met, immense disappointment is felt? Isn't it not better then to have no expectations at all? To never ask, so as to not be denied?

My weakness is that I always place too high expectations in others, and sometimes they can be met, and sometimes, maybe not. But I'm a little tired of always being disappointed... one of my resolutions for next year will definitely be to not set expectations on anyone...

No expectations = no disappointment

Birthday Celebrations

2006-12-13T07:57:00.000-08:00

I was invited to Mia's and Siew Lee's birthday bash at WA today. Well, not really a bash, how much of a bash can you have instore? Anyway, I was a little hesitant to go at first, not knowing quite how they would react to my going out with Selina, but they were really cool about it.

It's funny at times how the biggest worries are those that are self-generated...

Happy Birthday, Mia!

A Time For Giving

2006-12-13T07:48:00.000-08:00

This is my Xmas present for Selina, wrapped by me of course! I think it looks lovely, well, maybe apart from the bow, but have you tried making a bow from a silk ribbon?

Now she keeps pestering me to tell her what it is! Hahaha!

The Magic Of Christmas

2006-12-03T09:16:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time since I've felt like this...

Thank you for putting the sparkle and the magic back into my Christmas, Selina...

The Untold Story

2006-11-26T02:27:00.000-08:00

Dear Ely,

let me start by saying congratulations... you have managed to scam me yet again. Thank you for the lessons that you have taught me, a very expensive price to pay, but hey, I'll have to take it as tuition fees. After all, I learnt from the very best... on how to be a ruthless bitch, on how to manipulate the people around oneself, on how to scam and con and cheat and lie one's way through life.

You went back on your word. I hope you are happy with MY iPod, and MY handphone, and MY watches, and MY belt, and whatever else you refused to return to me. Ok, I gave you the iPod, so that is settled then. But we had a deal... I bought you an LG phone in return for keeping the Nokia 7370. And your exact words were, "U can hav the lg... I will return all ur belongings at ur outlet. N dnt worry. I wont miss a thing." So why turn around today and say, "U gave the pod n lg phone i asked u if ok to sell off u said since its mine i can do wat i want with it." Fine then, if the cost of your word and honor is just a $200 handphone, then I will give it to you. It's just so sad that someone so confident and sure of herself is reduced to selling off her pride for such a low price.

Maybe I should have been the one to say "suddenly i feel like something's being taken away from me. a sense of lost. something that i've lost and just could not retrieve it back any longer. and i feel sad. pain and disappointment at you." What sense of loss did you feel? The loss of a relationship? That was almost two months ago. The relationship that I had to give up because I loved you too much. Do you know it almost killed me to do that? Don't turn around and say "... but then i've seen you as someone i could lean on, let go of my independency and be a baby with you...your baby" because the reason we broke up was that you didn't want to be in a relationship, you didn't want to end up like me or Ryan, clingy and whiny... Remember that? So when you speak of loss, I can only wonder what loss you are refering to...

The loss of my attention? Because you also said "only to have you and the world ignore me...its no big deal that the world ignores me... but its a big deal to have you ignore me...", but I have always been there for you. Even after we ended our relationship. I didn't ignore you when you needed cash, did I? No matter how broke I was... Neither did I ignore you when you wanted new shoes... You tell me you are completely broke and you need cash, but you end up going to Dbl O? Did I at least manage to pay for a jug or two that I never drank? I know I've been paying for your cigarettes for the past what, five or six months? And yet you accuse me of ignoring you?

How could I not feel taken for granted? It never felt like you cared once we broke up. You seem to have forgotten to ask me how I am, how I'm doing, the only time I ever find out about your life is through your blog, your Elite model stint, your suitors, your Dbl O fiascos, your brush with a sex fiend... all that from your blog. Did you not think I wouldn't want to know what is going on with you? Didn't you care enough to share with me? So please don't say "when you know that i care, just that its impossible for me to be in a relationship with you..." It cheapens the relationship that we shared.

Please don't say "and when i miss you, so much...that everybody feels and looks the same as you do...". I wanted so badly to believe that, trust me, I did. But that didn't stop you from dating other people, did it? When was the last time we went out? You conveniently forget when I say that we can do this, that or the other, and then turn around and make it seem like I have no time for you.

So you said "today you accused me for taking you for granted. then for mercy's sake, i shall release myself from you, lest you being taken for granted ever again..." If you really weren't taking me for granted, then you wouldn't have shunned away from me, would you?

And I don't have a responsibility to tell you who I'm seeing, because it's none of your damn business. Get this straight, we are through. I am tired of the mind games, and the manipulations. I have let myself be used by you over and over again. Maybe you loved me once, but it doesn't really mean anything to me anymore. I have your name tattooed on my wrist, yes, but you don't mean anything to me anymore... because my dearest princess, where I come from, honor and integrity count, and while I once thought you had both, I know now that you have neither.

I can only wish you well for the rest of your life. Whatever happens in your life, the outcome of your new job, your cancer, your love life, whatever, know and understand this... I don't give a damn.

Farewell princess,
jack

Life Is...

2006-11-25T18:40:00.000-08:00

Life is not about back-ups plans, and escape routes... It is about taking risks, it is about not knowing "what-ifs", it is about living each day as it comes.

You might fail, you might get your heart shattered and your world broken. But at the end of the day, you know you've really lived life to the fullest.

If it is worth it, throw all caution to the wind. Jump off the cliff backwards, with your eyes closed and your hands tied. If someone catches you, great. If not, pick yourself up, and do it all over again.

Take that chance, take that risk.

Before You Bite Into That Burger...

2006-11-15T08:50:00.000-08:00

Femme Fatale

2006-11-13T08:24:00.000-08:00

"... (she) would never expose her own vulnerability, no matter how much she was attracted by someone; she'd want to manipulate the other person into falling in love with her. Since she was as vain as she was beautiful, she felt somehow deprived unless she was being worshipped. She seemed convinced that it diminished her value to yield to anyone."

My Favorite Guy

2006-11-12T09:29:00.000-08:00

This is the only guy that I go gaga over... my friend Daphne's boy, Gabriel. Isn't he just soooooo darn cute?

What's Warm And Fluffy And Melts In Your Mouth?

2006-11-10T07:38:00.000-08:00

My latest vice... these are so damn good melt-in-yer-mouth buttermilk biscuits. If you haven't already tried them, tough!

Disappointment

2006-10-30T08:28:00.000-08:00

At least now I know where I stand...

Time Is Running Out

2006-10-23T07:37:00.000-07:00

I think I'm drowning
Asphyxiating
I wanna break the spell
That you've created

You're something beautiful
A contradiction
I wanna play the game
I want the friction

You will be
The death of me
Yeah, you will be
The death of me

Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

Our time is running out
And our time is running out
You can't push it underground
We can't stop it screaming out

I wanted freedom
But I'm restricted
I tried to give you up
But I'm addicted

Now that you know I'm trapped
Sense of elation
You'll never dream of breaking this fixation
You will squeeze the life out of me

Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

Our time is running out
And our time is running out
You can't push it underground
We can't stop it screaming out
How did it come to this

You will suck the life out of me

Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

Our time is running out
And our time is running out
You can't push it underground
We can't stop it screaming out

How did it come to this

Cow

2006-10-23T01:10:00.000-07:00

I looked out the window, and lo and behold, there was a cow flying past...

I'm sorry.

For You, Princess

2006-10-19T00:02:00.000-07:00

I was going to start this entry by ranting and raving about how you lied... how could you even consider starting a relationship with him when you claimed the reason you wanted out from us was because you were tired of relationships, and wanted to be single for a while...? It cut me to the bone to read some of the things you wrote...

But the more I thought about it, the more I figured that you were right. It was an indian summer romance... that's all we could, would ever be. Do I regret having been with you? No. Do I regret anything? Never. I don't even regret that it had to end even, because although it was brief, it was intense.

Seasons come, seasons go. Soon this summer, our summer, will be lost in the passing of time. But it was ours for a moment, and it was special.

Thank you, princess, for everything that you have given me, for everything that you showed me, for all that you taught me. When it seems like there is no one there to hear you in the dark, when no helping hands reach out to catch you when you fall, when your friends are scarce, I will still be there...

Retrospect

2006-10-12T06:31:00.000-07:00

In retrospect, I'm glad I rejected Spinelli's offer. Sitting at the Heeran store now, and I just had a terrible experience. The manager (I assume) was such a fuckwit. I went in to buy drinks for my friends, and I swore that Spin's used to sell an Iced-T Twist, but not anymore. And Mr Fuckwit insists that they never had it... (Face it, bud, I probably already was a Spin's customer when you were just a beng squatting outside Far East Plaza!)

So I asked him if in the event of me getting the wrong drink, could I change it? And he said NO! What the fuck! How much can the cost of one stupid drink be anyway? Me being a bitch, held up the queue while I whipped out the 7370 to call my friend. And I did the "...since they WON'T let me change the drinks..." spiel. Finally I got my orders in, and by the way, they don't do soy, like hello?!

Spin's bar standards are atrocious by Starbucks standards. The barista left my shot sitting there for like forever, ok, maybe for like twenty seconds? Whatever, twenty seconds, forever, same difference! And he apparently doesn't understand what no foam means. Sigh... I miss Starbucks... I miss my lama... I miss baristas who understand English and managers who don't stinge on customer satisfaction (well, some of them anyway!)

Hope

2006-10-11T12:00:00.000-07:00

Hope is just a defence mechanism against the bleakness of reality.

One More Day And We're Live

2006-10-11T11:27:00.000-07:00

Harris opens tomorrow, and I can't wait! Mainly because it means that there'll be not much shelving left to do! Haha! Of course there will be, but at a more acceptable level. I mean, there is only so much shelving that one can take. And working with fuckwits who don't know their alphabet doesn't help much either! I mean, these are Poly students, for crying out loud! Come on guys, you've made it that far already...

Am I excited? Like hell, yeah! Hey, it's back to civilisation for me... no more working in some far-off place anymore! Hmm... I seem to be moving within the same postal district though... from Wheelock to Liat Towers to Orchard MRT! Which is good because I can still call for Nana Thai. Man, I missed them the two months that I was away from town! (Sorry, Ely, I'm sure they'd deliver to VivoCity if they could!)

Anyway, I'll see you guys in the store when it opens ok? Bring food, bring coffee, bring markout cakes!

And this is how a bookstore is supposed to look like... except for that damn carton in the corner! Oh well!

Random Musings Of A Gym Rat

2006-10-08T16:05:00.000-07:00

I went back to the gym yesterday... today I'm paying the price for having stayed away for almost six months. I'm aching all over, and have sore muscles that I kinda forgot existed. As usual, my very good friend Fei was more than happy to see me in her Body Combat class, and she made sure I suffered as a welcome back gift! Yes, Fei, I missed you too! I promise I won't stay away too long this time ok? I don't wanna have to go through the back-to-gym aches again!

I heard that Jen has resigned from the gym. Am I happy? No. But neither am I sad either. How the mighty have fallen, but hey, we've all been in that position before. So I will not gloat over it. I am past being pissed at Jen. We were friends once, we are not friends anymore. I can hardly be bothered to feel anything at all over this piece of information. Good for a bit of gossip, yes, but not much else really.

What else did I do? I renewed my gym membership. So no more fast food, no more dessert, no more late night suppers for me... Yeah, right! If anyone has seen my instructor friends, you guys would know that they could eat a buffet clean, including dessert! So if you ever thought that to build a perfect body, you have to abstain from your favorite indulgences, I urge you to take another look at your friendly neighborhood fitness instructors. You'll realise that they are so not munching on a carrot stick disguised as a chocolate brownie! Right, Fei?

Sisterhood

2006-10-05T08:28:00.000-07:00

I was waiting for Ely outside Liat Towers earlier in the evening, and coincidentally SB-LT was having a store meeting. She was running a little late, so I got to observe the whole meeting in its entirety.

I was actually quite fascinated by the interaction between Hannah and her little sister. I couldn't hear them, having been some distance away. But it was obvious from the body language that the little girl adores her elder sister, and Hannah adores her too. Being an only child myself, I just think it's amazing the bond that they seem to share. It must be so nice to have someone think the whole world of you, how you could do no wrong in their eyes.

I wish I could have someone who would view me through non-judgemental eyes...

The Bunny Book

2006-10-04T11:58:00.000-07:00

I have a friend who loves bunnies. I bought her a book on bunnies once, but she didn't seem too appreciative of it. I thought it was a nice selection, I'm really such a thoughtful friend. Here are some excerpts from the book...

Aren't they cute little things? I wonder why she didn't like it...

Anyway, if you are interested in it, the book is titled "The Book Of Bunny Suicides".

Friends Will Be Friends

2006-10-04T10:45:00.000-07:00

Someone commented that I don't seem to have many friends, which I denied. But then I had some time to think about it, and in a way, I might have to agree with that. Then again, maybe we don't share the same views on friends.

It's not that I don't have many friends, but I guess I'm just not good at touching base. I don't quite believe in being sociable, just for the sake of having a social life. I have friends who I rarely get to see, but I know that anytime I need them, they will always be there for me. Ok, so we might just do the occasional dinner or drinks, but hey, do I really need to see them all the time for them to know that they have a place in my life, or I in theirs? I see my best friend one week a year at best, if he comes back from London, if not, then it's a week every two years. But he knows I love him, and I know he loves me...

Then there are the other people who fill up my phone book and MSN list. Am I friends with all of them? Some of them might have been once, others are ex-colleagues or schoolmates. They walk the line between acquaintances and friends. Am I wrong to draw the line? I don't really know them that well to call them friends, maybe we just don't click well enough to hang out, but I like them enough to still do the occasional touching base.

These past few weeks have been a little trying for me, and it's at times like these that I realise who my true friends are. They don't really care how badly I've screwed up, or am screwed up. They like me for who I am, and that's all that counts, at the end of the day. You guys know who you are, and you've been awesome! This one's for you.

"Friends will be friends
When you're in need of love
They give you care and attention
Friends wil be friends
When you're through with life
And all is hope is lost
Just hold out your hand
'Cos friends will be friends
Right till the end"

The Butterfly Effect

2006-10-04T09:20:00.000-07:00

Ever heard of the Butterfly Effect? The phrase refers to the idea that a butterfly's wings might create tiny changes in the atmosphere that ultimately cause a tornado to appear. The flapping wing represents a small change in the initial condition of the system, which causes a chain of events leading to large-scale phenomena. Had the butterfly not flapped its wings, the trajectory of the system might have been vastly different.

Six months ago today, I made a life-changing decision. Which brought me to today. It's been a long road, feels like almost a lifetime in the space of six short months, not even two hundred days... But I've changed since then, my life has changed. For better or for worse? Unfortunately I can't really tell, I will only be able to answer that in retrospect. It's been good, it's been bad. You've shown me heaven, you've dragged me to hell. But at the end of the day, I will say this, I have no regrets. Thinking of what-ifs will be just that, only thoughts, so not much point in that, is there? You kept your side of the bargain, and I kept mine. It's not been easy, but I believe in doing what I say I will. And like I said in my first paragraph, that too will bring it's own set of chain reactions.

I am just amazed at how a small decision can be so impactful. Did I ever tell you I hate butterflies?

It's Been Forever

2006-10-02T10:30:00.000-07:00

It's been forever since I've talked to you... and I miss the sound of your voice.

It's been forever since I've seen you... and I miss the smile on your face.

It's been forever since I've felt your touch... and I miss your kiss.

It's been forever, and forever's way too long... I miss you.

My New Third Place

2006-10-02T08:47:00.000-07:00

This is my new store... as it was this morning... it's like a war zone now, well, almost. I think bookstores look their best when the shelves are empty! Well, they look their best, but so damn boring! Almost like Ikea?

Anyway, today is the first day of the sort. (Borders-speak for shelving a new store!) I'm not tired, just a little braindead from thinking if A comes before B which comes before C... (ok, those of you who have never worked in a bookstore would never understand that feeling!) I can't wait to finish getting all those books on the shelves. Actually, I can't wait for the store to open.

Ok, a little bit of advertising here... Harris is located at Orchard MRT, on the back side... the Orchard Boulevard side. Scheduled opening is next week (I don't think I'm allowed to say when) so if you guys are around the area, please stop by and visit me... preferably with coffee!

Yellow

2006-10-02T03:58:00.000-07:00

Yellow wakes me up in the morning.
Yellow gets me on the bike every day.
Yellow has taught me the true meaning of sacrifice.
Yellow makes me suffer.
Yellow is the reason I'm here.

- Lance Armstrong

Steal.

2006-09-28T23:44:00.000-07:00

Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination.

Devour films, music, books, paintings, poems, photographs, conversations, dreams, trees, architecture, street signs, clouds, light and shadows.

Select only things to steal from that speak directly to your soul. If you do this, your work (and theft!) will be authentic.

Authenticity is invaluable.

Originality is non-existent.

Don't bother concealing your thievery - celebrate it if you feel like it.

Remember what Jean-Luc Godard said: "It's not where you take things from - it's where you take them to."

Stolen from Paul Arden, who stole it from Jim Jarmusch.

Against All Odds

2006-09-22T10:33:00.000-07:00

How can I just let you walk away
Just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking
Every breath with you
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all

How can you just walk away from me
When all I can do is watch you leave
'Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain
And even shared the tears
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now
Oh there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against all odds
And that's what I've got to face

I wish I could just make you turn around
Turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you
So many reasons why
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
But to wait for you is
All I can do
And that's what I've got to face
Take a good look at me now
'Cause l'll still be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds
That's the chance I've qot to take

My Least Favorite Song

2006-09-21T04:16:00.000-07:00

My least favorite song in the world must be "What Becomes Of The Broken-Hearted?" They must've played it like 20,000 times at work today! No, seriously! Is someone like trying to kill me or what? Come on, how many times can one listen to the same whiny drivel over and over again?

If it happens again tomorrow, I swear I'll break the CD!

Back To Basics

2006-09-20T03:55:00.000-07:00

As much as I miss the aroma of freshly ground espresso beans first thing in the morning, I love the smell of new books too, fresh out of a carton. (OMG! Closet geek!)

For those of you who don't know, I worked in Borders for six years. And now I'm back in the books trade. It's funny how sometimes life makes a full circle. It's a new store that'll be opening in Orchard... (no, not that one! Not the other one either! It's new!) And I'm really excited about it. For one, I get to borrow any book I want to, for as long as I want, so if you guys want to read anything, just call me! (oops, gotta make sure Chris doesn't read this!)

The other thing is that I'm back with the Borders boys, not counting Chris, that's five of them! So it'll be just like old times again, I suppose. I'll be with Elf in the new store. The irony of life? I trained him when he first joined Borders! Good thing I was nice to him then! Haha!

I guess I'm gonna be a regular customer at Wisma and Liat Towers now (well, LT only when you-know-who isn't there! I don't wanna spend my break retching!). So, don't forget my 25% discount, and I'll loan you all the books you want! How about that?

My Summer Of Love

2006-09-20T03:36:00.000-07:00

It was an indian summer, the heat woozy and claustrophobic.

Our protagonist meets, and unexpectedly falls for a girl, one who is just so wrong for her. This girl is everything that she isn't, one who seems to have anything she could possibly want, and yet still lacking... wild and untamed, yet lonely and vulnerable.

They start an intense relationship, intoxicating, passionate, mysterious, exhilirating. Theirs is a relationship of hidden romance, stolen kisses, wild sex, and make-believe perfection.

Unwilling to face up to the destructive nature of the relationship initially, and later on, unable to walk away, our protagonist finds herself changed. Maybe that was a hidden desire to taste life on the other side of the fence, maybe it was her girlfriend's magnetic personality that drew her into it. She was no longer the person that she was before the summer. She found herself doing and feeling things she didn't quite understand.

At the end of the summer, having become a stranger to herself, and everyone else around her, our protagonist had only one thing to do, one choice to make... all she could do was choose to walk away from it. To face up to the fact that their love was never meant to last beyond summer. She had it, she lived it, and now she had to let it go.

It was just an indian summer, after all...

The most dangerous thing to want is more.

I will post the movie trailer once Blogger stops rejecting my video! Watch for it!

A Moment Of Silence

2006-09-20T02:49:00.000-07:00

Let us take a moment of silence to mark the passing of summer...

... and then we can move on to prepare for a winter of discontent.

Silent Voices

2006-09-17T09:00:00.000-07:00

I hear your voice, and I feel your pain. I'm sorry I can't be there for you any longer. There is nothing much that I can do, and even if I could, it's no longer my business. I can't promise you that things will get better, because they never did for me. I'm sorry, but that's the way the system works. It sucks, I understand. But apart from telling you to hold on, I don't know what else to say. I'm really not in the position to help you any longer. All I can offer you is a listening ear, the occasional bitching session, and my friendship.

But know and understand this, no one is indispensable, and she won't be there forever. Just try and stay on for longer than she does. Things might not get any better, in fact, they might even get worse. But at the end of the day, she is not good enough a reason for you to leave. I might not have taught you a lot, but I hope I taught you to always speak up for yourselves. At the end of the day, you guys never needed me to do this. Stand up for your rights. Create havoc, start a riot if you must, but just make sure that your voices are heard.

Dying For A Ciggie

2006-09-17T07:40:00.000-07:00

(17 June 2003, between Shap and Penrith, United Kingdom) National Express runs bus services throughout the UK. The service between Aberdeen and London takes approximately 12 hours. There's no smoking on the coach, making it a long trip for smokers. Sandra, 43, was riding south from Glasgow to visit her family, and she was getting more and more desperate for a cigarette. The coach stopped at Carlisle. Finally she could satisfy her craving! But no, she was not allowed to get off the coach. Sandra sat in the bus, becoming more agitated by the mile. She was craving a cigarette. She needed it now.

Fellow passengers said she became increasingly anxious as the journey continued, and started shouting that she wanted to get off. However, the coach was on a motorway at the time, and was not allowed to stop except for an emergency. They saw Sandra push her hands against the passenger door in the middle of the lower deck. Surely she couldn't be trying to get off the coach to have that cigarette she'd been dreaming of, could she?

Oh yes, she could!

Police concluded that she fell out of the coach, which was traveling at approximately 60mph, and was crushed under its wheels. At that point, the coach made that hoped-for emergency stop, but it was too late for Sandra. She died at the scene and never did get to enjoy that cigarette.

Courtesy of the Darwin Awards

Hate Your Life And Want To Die?

2006-09-17T07:39:00.000-07:00

These are like possibly the worst ways to kill yourself. What's the best? Hmm, I wouldn't know now, would I?

Poison
What? Are we still living in Shakespearean times a la Romeo & Juliet? Very outdated! Moreover, if you can drink the shots pulled by certain unnamed Starbucks individuals, no amount of arsenic can kill you!

Drowning
Unless you have access to a very secluded pool of water, some idiot is bound to try and save you. You can try holding your head down in a pail of water, but chances are, you'd die of a broken neck before you drown.

Slitting of wrists
Option only for individuals who don't have tattoos on their wrists. And if you really wanted to feel pain that way, go get inked instead!

Hanging
Ah, the favorite of highly disturbed male vocalists (Michael Hutchence, Ian Curtis) If you're like really fat, make sure you hang yourself from a strong support, otherewise the beams are gonna come crashing down!

Pills
Again no guarantees. I don't know enough about sleeping pills to comment, but again, be careful. If you take too many of the wrong thing (for example, Ecstasy), you might also end up with a broken neck! (Refer to #2)

Jumping
Effective, yes, but messy. I guess when you're dead, you wouldn't really care that some poor soul is going to live with nightmares of finding your battered remains with your brains all oozing out. Just make sure you don't land on some fat person who will break your fall.

If all else fails, then you might need professional advice. I'd refer you to the Darwin Awards. Who knows? You might get a posthumous mention!

The Darwin Awards salute the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who accidentally kill themselves in really stupid ways.

(In other words, these award recepients REALLY deserved to die!)

Little Dragon Girl

2006-09-13T02:18:00.000-07:00

This is my friend Fei. I met her when I first joined the gym about two years ago? We hit it off almost instantly, because Fei is a HUGE fan of Starbucks. And if you are wondering about this entry title, it's because her surname is Long (Dragon in Chinese).

Fei's not a very big girl, she's like, I dunno, 1.52m tall at most. But what she lacks in stature, she makes up for in personality (and vocals!). She is loud, and she is passionate about the things she loves (the gym, the coffee, Andrew). She was the one who pushed me to try out for the instructor's course. She's screamed, and yelled, and threatened, and cajoled me into sticking with it, through all the missed cues, and wrong choreography, and alternatingly passionate / passionless scripts.

We were pretty close for a period of time, when I was still under training, and was practically living in the gym. And then too many things happened, I gave up on the gym, I broke up with the ex, I guess Fei and me just drifted apart. Mainly due to me, I guess... I promised her and Andrew I wouldn't give up on the training, but I did. And then after the breakup, I just wanted to avoid too many questions. I assumed that mutual friends would choose sides. I was wrong. This is what she said to me on MSN today...

"... just wanted to say I never took sides and I dun think I shd.. there are reasons why things dun work out and I shd be the last person to cruxify another.. as I am not in your shoes I wldnt know the reason why things happen the way they did."

She was right, she wouldn't know because I chose not to open up. I chose not to take the risk of coming under fire. I chose to shut her and Andrew out of my life. I understand now that when you break up with someone, even though you may have to split physical possessions, friends shouldn't have to be forced to choose. I hope that even without the gym, and the bikes, and the muffins, and the beer, and everything else, we are still friends.

iCandy

2006-09-13T00:20:00.000-07:00

Five Years On...

2006-09-10T11:33:00.000-07:00

Baby, Don't You Strut Away From Me Now

2006-09-10T06:52:00.000-07:00

I bought my girfriend a very gorgeous pair of boots. Someone asked me if I'm not afraid of her walking away from me. (The Chinese have a superstition where if you bought someone footwear, they will walk away from you.)

No, I am not afraid. I believe that if she truly loved me, even a whole season of Blahniks (you wish, sweetheart!) would not make her leave me. And if she doesn't want to be with me anymore, no matter what I gave her, she still wouldn't want to be in this relationship.

Now isn't that more logical?

Return To Liat Towers

2006-09-10T06:23:00.000-07:00

I went to Liat Towers to chill with Ely and Ryan last night. It was chaotic, as usual for a Saturday night. I did have a little reservations about stepping in, especially since Doraemon was running shift. Well, she wasn't so much running shift, but just pottering around, getting in the partners' way as usual (not my observation, it was an actual comment by one of the baristas on shift!).

I got to see Donovan, Opheleia and Daryl though. And Farhan too, who was just on his way home. I miss the kids. I realised this, it's always the partners who care the most. You treat them right, and they never forget you. Of all the friends that I have made in Starbucks, only a very countable few are managers, the rest are all partners, or who were partners when we were working together.

I did walk in to say bye to them though. And unfortunately for me, but fortunately for Doraemon, never once did she turn around to acknowledge my presence. Because I would have ripped her to shreds had she attempted a single word to me. But alas, it wasn't my night last night... oh well, there's always the next time!

Poem

2006-09-08T08:39:00.000-07:00

I wrote a poem, a really crappy one... should I post it? Hmm...

Against my better judgement, and risking total humiliation, here goes...

Do not promise me forever,
When at the end of the day,
Forever is just an illusion,
And all we have is today.

My love will last as long
As the stars and moon in the sky...
Or maybe only just as long
As there are still tears in my eyes.

But when this has come to pass
And all is said and done,
Have no doubt in this,
That I loved you once.

I can't believe I posted it. And no, Ely, I didn't plagiarise it... so should I apply to work at Hallmark?

Trust, Faith And Belief

2006-09-08T08:13:00.000-07:00

I made a mistake in my last entry. In fact I've been mistaken for a very long time...

The reason people fail me is because I expect them to fail, a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy. And because I subconsciously expect them to fail, they do. It took me a very long time to realise that, and an even longer time to admit it. I am the cause of failure in the world!

No, of course I'm not.

I find that at my darkest moments, at times when it feels like my whole world is collapsing around me, that's when someone, in some way or other, does something to make me believe in the goodness of man once again.

I learnt three new words today: trust, faith and belief.

Simple words, really. But not easy to live by... this is what I'm offering to you, and I hope that you will return it.

It might've taken me a lifetime to come to this, but hey, I believe that although a leopard can't change its spots, it can change its outlook on life.

Hazard To Myself

2006-09-06T03:18:00.000-07:00

Everyday I fight a war against the mirror
I can't take the person starin' back at me
I'm a hazard to myself
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
It's bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else

That's how I've been feeling lately. Wanna know what my problem is? Me! I think I need to ease up on myself a bit. I've been a little too harsh on myself, I tend to set very high self-expectations. And then I project those same expectations on those closest around me. When no one can live up to these expectations (because they're always too damn high!), I get disappointed and upset. Instead of celebrating someone else's successes, I guess I've been harping on their shortcomings. I would really hate to be friends with me!

Fortunately, once in a while I meet someone who manages to put me in my place, and today, I met that one person. It was a very honest conversation. It hurt, but it's what I needed to hear. Hey you, I want you to know that I heard what you said, and I will act on it. I know at this point in time, I'm not the nicest person to hang out with. And you could easily have just not shared it with me. But you chose to, and I appreciate it. So be patient with me, keep the feedback coming, and when I really need it, an occasional kick in the butt. Thank you, my friend...

Alpha Beta Gaga

2006-09-06T02:12:00.000-07:00

Ok, enough of uploading morose songs... here's a different sound. No lyrics though, but listening to it always cheers me up.

Click play to listen

Move Over, Carrie Bradshaw!

2006-09-06T01:56:00.000-07:00

I watched "The Devil Wears Prada" last night, and I miss the media industry. Oh, I know it's one of the bitchiest industries and all, but during my advertising stint, I had so much fun. Ever been to a media event? The flow of drinks is endless. Of course there's the whole glamor and what-nots behind it as well! Ok, now I'm beginning to sound like a media whore!

A lifetime ago, I wanted to be a writer. I've always wanted to write. I did try out for some publications, but without a proper portfolio, it's not easy snagging a writing job in Singapore. And I don't want to end up writing movie reviews, or doing product write-ups. I want it all, the columns, the byline, the works. Unfortunately, somewhere in between then, and now, I kinda gave up on that idea. Now at the very best, I am reduced to authoring this blog, and it's not even as popular as say, Athena-Stars?

But watching the movie really set me thinking again. Maybe it's time to consider a change of environment.

Strange Foods

2006-09-05T10:03:00.000-07:00

Anyone who's ever shared a meal with me will know that I am a notoriously picky eater. I drive my friends crazy when I ask them to pick up food for me because the food request will come with a long list of what and what not to have. However, as I get older, I find myself a little more adventurous with food. These are the things that I have tasted to date which are a little exotic (to me, at least!)

bamboo worm

sharks fin soup (ok, given up on this long ago)

frogs legs (promised my girlfriend never to eat this again)

ants on toast

oysters (I hate this, but the girl always saves at least one for me! So sweet!)

deer

"gong gong"

pork knuckles (I don't eat pork anymore)

and now... escargots

This list will hopefully keep growing. I still want to taste grasshopper, snake, bat (erm, maybe not), and lots of other stuff... Dinner anyone?

Snails For Dinner?

2006-09-05T09:36:00.000-07:00

Today was a really exciting day for me... I finally got my new tattoo. Damn, it hurt like hell! I will never get another one done! (Just kidding, Selina! Got you for a moment right?) But that wasn't the main highlight. No, the MAJOR event was dinner. I decided we should try Chicago's Steakhouse at Cineleisure. It looked pretty decent, so why not...

Now looking at the menu, Ely suggested, no, highly recommended that we order the baked escargots (snails for the uninitiated), and since I was feeling all stoked from the tattoo and all, I thought ok, bring it on! Of course while waiting for our food to arrive, she got interrogated quite thoroughly. (Sorry love, you know I'm a picky eater!) What do they taste like? Would I like it? Most importantly, would I throw up?

They came in a little dish with six holes. Thankfully they were deshelled! The sight of the little snail shells would have just turned me off instantly! I regret not taking a picture. Anyway, in the holes, there was this black mass, covered with lots and lots of garlic. That should have set me thinking, but no... Ely, being the sweetheart that she is, generously offered me the first one. Erm, how do I describe it? The texture was a cross between sotong and oyster, a bit chewy, but not very firm. I couldn't really taste the flesh, because thankfully there was a ton of garlic. I managed to chew and then swallow without feeling nauseous. The second one would have been better, except there was a chunk of flesh dangling from it! Chew, chew, chew, gulp, gulp, wash down with Coke. The trick is not to think about what you're eating, but just concentrate on keeping it down!

After two, I didn't quite chicken out, but I decided to let Ely have the extra one! No, seriously. I thought I did pretty well for a first-timer. And then after dinner, she tells me that the escargots were too well cooked, that they should have been a bit more raw. Oh man, I can't imagine the taste or the texture. Unfortunately, I think I came across as a little too enthusiastic, so now, I have another escargot dinner date with her! This time round, we will go to a proper French restaurant that knows how to cook it, and allow you to enjoy the total experience of eating a snail! Wish me luck!

P/S As I was coming home, I stepped on a snail. I think they're out to get me...

This Relationship Is Over

2006-09-04T21:23:00.000-07:00

After such a long time of saying that we'll be together forever, I've decided that nothing can save this relationship. Although we've been through thick and thin, through heaven and hell, I guess it's time to finally admit defeat and give it up. After all, what's the point of saving something that's already dead?

I know I swore that I would be true, how I loved you in your perfection. I loved the way you looked, the way you felt, the way you responded to my touch... but it's all over now. Will I miss you? Of course I would. But it's over now, and it's time to move on... you know that there are some things that just can't be salvaged. Oh, I did try to make it better, I searched for ways to make this work. I've been searching for a long time. But now it seems that there really isn't any hope left. It's gone, you're gone. And I have to move on... I tried to be true for as long as I could, and I'm really sorry but I'm gonna have to let you go...

... it's true, my much-loved 3rd generation iPod is officially dead. I'm gonna have to get a new iPod now.

Time To Get Inked

2006-09-04T12:40:00.000-07:00

I want a new tattoo... I've been meaning to get another one for some months now. Maybe I'll do it later. It's not that I'm afraid of the pain. Truth be truth, getting inked doesn't hurt one bit. No, seriously. I just haven't found the time to go down and get one down.

Some people might think that tattoos are dumb. After all, why leave a permanent reminder of something that might be only temporary? To me, that's putting way too much thought into it. A tattoo is just a tattoo. If you want it to remind you of something, it can. If you want it to mean nothing, it can as well.

Anyway, back to the new one... I hope the same tattoo artist I went to for my last one is still working at the parlor. I hate having to go through a new guy all over again. Ok, now I'm all stoked about it. I'm definitely gonna do it later.

Seraphina

2006-09-04T08:48:00.000-07:00

I miss Seraphina.

Baby Don't You Break My Heart Slow

2006-09-02T14:29:00.000-07:00

I like the way you wanted me
Every night for so long baby
I like the way you needed me
Every time things got rocky

I was believing in you
Am I mistaken do you say,
Do you say what you mean
I want our love to last forever

But I'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow

I like the way you'd hold me
Every night for so long baby
And I like the way you'd say my name
In the middle of the night
While you were sleeping

I was believing in you
Was I mistaken
Do you mean, mean what you say
When you say our love could last forever

Well I'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow

You would run around and lead me on forever
While I wait at home thinking that we're together
I wanted our love to last forever

Well I'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow

Click play to listen

In The Still Of The Night

2006-08-30T12:19:00.000-07:00

I hate not being able to sleep... been having sleepless nights for like the past week or so now. At the very best, I fall asleep for a couple of hours, and then I wake again, and I stay awake till dawn breaks. Every sound is amplified in the still of the night. The beating of my heart sounds like the pounding of drums in my head. The only light I see is from the 'book as I sit here and stare at a blank screen, as blank as my mind.

This sucks.

In the still of the night, no one hears you when you laugh, no one holds you when you cry. There is no one but yourself...

I hate not being able to sleep.

Don't Give Up

2006-08-20T12:53:00.000-07:00

Don't give up on us, baby
Don't make the wrong seem right
The future isn't just one night
It's written in the moonlight
Painted on the stars
We can't change ours

Don't give up on us, baby
Lord knows we've come this far
Can't we stay the way we are?
The angel and the dreamer
Who sometimes plays a fool
Don't give up on us, I know
We can still come through

Don't give up on us, baby
We're still worth one more try
I know we put a last one by
Just for a rainy evening
When maybe stars are few
Don't give up on us, I know
We can still come through

Woes From The Help Desk

2006-08-20T12:06:00.000-07:00

The phone rings...

Caller: "Hi, I'm calling to check if my computer has been fixed."

Help Desk: "Erm, which computer might that be?"

Caller: "The Mac."

(Note that this is an Apple help desk, so like duh!)

Help Desk: "Yes, which Mac?"

Caller: "The Big Mac."

At this point, the help desk seriously considered diverting the call to the nearest McDonalds.

This true-life incident reminds me of when I used to work in Borders. Customers would come in and ask the info counter for help in finding a book. The conversation would go something like this...

Customer: "Hi, you had a book on display at the front last weekend. It had a green cover, with white words, with a picture of a girl and her dog standing by the lake watching the sunset. The girl was in a dress, and I think the dog was a dalmatian."

(Wow, you would think that the customer has a photographic memory. But wait, it gets better...)

Bookseller: "So what was the name of the book or the author?"

Customer: "Erm... I can't remember..."

Searching My Soul

2006-08-20T09:41:00.000-07:00

Ally McBeal and her search for happiness... as Ginia Bellafante wrote in The Times, "Utimately, her trademark neuroses became Ally's downfall. Her internal dialogues were too many; she made happiness too elusive; her narcissistic torment became too grating to watch." I always felt that she was happy at times, but she had this total aversion to being happy. It was as if the search for happiness was what defined her, that if she admitted she was happy, it would destroy her very essence.

Although she was definitely one of the more irritating characters on the show, I empathised with Ally McBeal the most. I understood when she broke off perfectly fine relationships because she couldn't believe that she might be happy for once. I understood her misery at being happy. I understood the reasons behind her constant search for happiness. I understood her.

I have spent my whole life telling myself that I am not happy. I could have everything that I possibly desire, and yet... I'm not happy. Is it from wanting more? Is it a natural instinct from being an only child? (And no, I never was a pampered child, I wish I could say that I was, but no, I wasn't. Maybe I'll do another entry on my childhood soon) No, how could I want more when I already have EVERYTHING that I desire? I believe that my unhappiness stems from the fact that somewhere deep inside, I feel I don't deserve to be happy. I haven't quite earned that right. So what do I do? I screw up everything that I have. I find reasons to support my theory that the happiness I might have is only superficial, only temporary at best.

I am in a relationship with a truly amazing girl at this moment. She is all that I could ever want, and more. And the best part of it all? She loves me. I should be estatic, over-the-moon, right? No, I spend my time wallowing in misery and self-doubt. Because I can't see myself for the way that she sees me, I can't see what she loves about me. And I bring her down...

But I do want to be happy. I do want to experience the joys and the laughter, the love that comes from being in a relationship with someone special. I'm a little tired of being miserable. I'm a little tired of dark shadows and overcast skies. I'm a little tired of me. I need to break free from the walls that I have built around myself... I need to break out of the chains that I have secured around me.

Because I deserve more than this. I have lived through my fair share of misery, and it's time that I had a break. Although my life is not perfect right now, it ain't that bad either. I have wonderful parents, I have a job that pays a pretty decent salary, I have friends who cared if I lived or died, I have the most awesome girlfriend in the world. I might not have a lot of money, or a fancy-schmancy job title, I might not have a car, or a dozen gold cards, or an overseas degree, but at the end of the day, when I take stock of my life, I have what truly matters the most.

Now damn me if that isn't reason enough for me to be happy.

The Fatty Truth

2006-08-18T09:19:00.000-07:00

I feel fat.

I haven't been to the gym in almost five months, can't even remember when the last time I got on a bike was... I've lost muscle definition, and I doubt I'd last on the bike for more than ten minutes... there goes my dream of riding like Lance...

Sigh... I'm feeling so listless and lethargic, and I think at some point soon, I should really consider going for a run...

Before you comment that I don't look fat (oh, would someone please comment?), I should say that I have a high body fat percentage... which means that although I'm not physically fat, I'm lugging around buckets of lard internally!

And the icing on the cake? (Man, I gotta stop thinking about food!) I'm actually losing weight! So it works like this, the more weight I lose, the higher my body fat percentage increases!

Anyone looking for a gym buddy?

Does The Truth Always Have To Hurt?

2006-08-18T04:47:00.000-07:00

How truthful are you in your blog? Do you write about what you really feel, or do you write what you reckon your "audience" wants to read? Do you embellish the truth just to spice things up a little? Create fantasies just for a bit of hype? What if you actually stop being able to distinguish between fact and fiction?

I know people who maintain more than one blog just to cater to different readers. I can't help but wonder how they keep their different personas separate. After all, one must have different personas to lead different lives, right?

I guess after so long, this whole concept of blogging is still a bit strange to me. Yes, I do want to say what I think and feel, and yet, there are some things that I want to keep private. Because I don't want things out in black-and-white for the whole world to read. Yes, given that it's my blog and my personal space, but I also lead a life outside of the blog. I won't embellish things just to make it fancy. Ok, so maybe my life might suck or it might bore one to tears just reading it, but at the end of the day, hey, it's me... and it's real. What I choose to share, my thoughts, my feelings, my joy, my sorrows, my laughter, my tears, my hurts, my pain, my anguish, that's all me... just me...

Her Absence

2006-08-15T13:51:00.001-07:00

And at times the fact of her absence will hit you like a blow to the chest, and you will weep.

But this will happen less and less as time goes on...

Love Story

2006-08-08T11:13:00.000-07:00

This one's for you baby, this is what your lovin' does to me...

Where do I begin?
To tell the story of how great a love can be
The sweet love story that is older than the sea
The simple truth about the love she brings to me
Where do I start?

Like a summer rain
That cools the pavement with a patent leather shine
She came into my life and made the living fine
And gave a meaning to this empty world of mine
She fills my heart

She fills my heart with very special things
With angels' songs, with wild imaginings
She fills my soul with so much love
That anywhere I go, I'm never lonely
With her along, who could be lonely
I reach for her hand, it's always there

How long does it last?
Can love be measured by the hours in a day?
I have no answers now, but this much I can say
I'm going to need her till the stars all burn away
And she'll be there

She fills my heart with very special things
With angels' songs, with wild imaginings
She fills my soul with so much love
That anywhere I go, I'm never lonely
With her along, who could be lonely
I reach for her hand, it's always there

How long does it last?
Can love be measured by the hours in a day?
I have no answers now, but this much I can say
I'm going to need her till the stars all burn away
And she'll be there

Click play to listen

What's The Most Difficult Word To Say In The English Language?

2006-08-01T09:30:00.000-07:00

"Sorry"

Too much ego, too much pride to admit my faults,
I try to shift the blame to you.

The barbs and stings of my words can't be assuaged in a simple apology,
and just because I didn't mean it doesn't make it right.

Verbal debates, tempers flare...
and all hell breaks loose.

Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but words will always be my undoing.

They say things will get easier with practice, so let me try it now...
I'm sorry for being such a jerk, I've been quite short-fused lately, understandably so. Still does not justify anything I say in a fit of anger. Like a wild beast trapped in a corner, I lash out at the closest things around me. And you, my baby, are the closest to me...

I'm sorry.

Invisible People

2006-07-30T07:14:00.000-07:00

There was something about her that caught my attention, as I looked into her eyes, I felt drawn to her plight. To her outstretched hand, I gave nothing, and averted my glance from the kids at her side.

But as I made my way into the mall, I felt compelled to do something, anything, just to make sure the kids had something to eat tonight. I hunted throughout the mall for a whole roasted chicken, unfortunately, those were sold out. I spent the better part of an hour looking for appropriate food...

In the end, I'm almost ashamed to say that all I could offer her was a loaf of bread. I was actually pretty nervous as I approached, I feared that she might misconstrue my intentions because I wouldn't be able to explain in Malay that it wasn't a spur-of-the-moment gift, that I actually bought it with the intention of giving it to her. But from the look in her eyes as she thanked me, I knew then that she heard the unspoken words between us.

In an affluent society such as ours, why are there still people who fall through the cracks? Why is there a need for a mother to have to beg for money just to feed her children? And most importantly, why are they invisible, with everyone just walking on by without so much as a second glance?

Save your appeals for funds to help the homeless and the destitute, do you help anyone in need or is there a criteria they have to meet? I wouldn't know now, would I? Even if I bought a booklet of "I-don't-know-what" coupons from you, how can I be sure that you don't pick and choose your causes based on your personal beliefs? And surely a multi-million dollar corporation doesn't need to solicit funds just to build spanking new headquarters! I refuse to donate to charitible organisations, not a single cent...

I'd rather go to bed knowing that two little girls didn't go hungry tonight.

Mac vs PC

2006-07-29T12:43:00.000-07:00

Anyone wanna sponsor me for a new MacBook Pro?

Back To My Roots

2006-07-25T11:32:00.000-07:00

I realised something... when I don't quite like my blog template, I'm somewhat reluctant to blog... which is why I revived this one. Hey, cut me some slack, will you? I spent a long time modifying it, and I'm not about to give it up just yet. Instead of trying to come up with a new one, I've decided to simplify my life, and reuse it, albeit with minor changes here and there...

If you need a new skin though, drop me an email and I will happily experiment with your blog! Any takers?